Before I get onto the Milo, there are some other things to address.  I was going to post an IT depart­ment rant, but I’ll hold myself back for a few days until I have more to rant about.  It’s coming.

Yay, I finally have an intranet page for myself which I’m happy with!  I’ve got an RSS reader in a float­ing DIV on the left, and my links down the right, all of which fea­ture handy dandy accesskey codes (I can press “Alt+I” and goto my sys­tem sta­tus page, or “Alt+G” and go to my Gallery, things like that).  Woohoo.  What’s changed from my pre­vi­ous intranet incar­na­tions?  This time around, I’ve added my RSS reader, stripped links to the bare essen­tials only, and added accesskey attrib­utes to the links.  So that’s ocol.

I went and saw the den­tist yes­ter­day.  I resisted the temp­ta­tion of run­ning up yet another WAP bill, because last month was sort of expen­sive (and that was a month sans den­tist vis­its!).  Fired a few mes­sages off all over the place, though ;)  So yeah.  I was there get­ting two pre­ven­ta­tive fill­ings, what­ever that is.  Some­thing about a hole that isn’t really a hole and isn’t really there because of decay, but has the poten­tial to become a prob­lem because food could get lodged in there and stuff.  Sounds like an excuse for them to get $300, to me.  But hey!  I got trippy numb­ing stuff injected into my gums, so that was all good.

Because the fill­ings were plas­tic and UV treated (well, I think it was UV… they had this insano torch which they seemed to be bak­ing my teeth with, whilst shield­ing them­selves from the evi­dently harm­ful radi­a­tion the ray gun was emit­ting… so it mightn’t be UV, but it was some kind of light­ish stuff that glowed), I could eat as soon as I wanted.  Yay!  So I went home, and did the Milo thang.

Note to self:  BAD IDEA!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!

…on with the story!  Yeah.  Milo with numbed gums and reduced-mobility lips is fun.  The fact that I couldn’t say “pro­vi­sion­ing” should have been a bad sign — alas, I didn’t let any­thing stand between me and the Milo!

Now, I’m one of those peo­ple who’ll fill a glass up halfway (so it’s half EMPTY, folks)… with Milo.  And then the milk starts going in.  And then it’s stirred slightly, and the Milo rises to the top, and it is CONSUMED!!! Muwha­ha­ha­haha.  Yes, it’s a food-drink.  Not a food, not a drink.  (Aside: Well, occa­sion­ally a food, rarely a drink.)  Eat­ing half-dampened (by milk) Milo is an intri­cate pro­ce­dure, involv­ing extreme mobil­ity of the upper lip.

Firstly, the per­son who is to devour the Milo (here­after: “the Devourer”) must care­fully load the eat­ing device (“the Spoon”) with Milo from the cup, tak­ing care not to lose any of the pre­cious sub­stance in the process.

Sec­ondly, the Spoon must be raised to the mouth of the Devourer, plac­ing it inside with great precision.

Next, the spoon must be removed from the mouth, scrap­ing against the upper lip in order to dis­lodge Milo from the spoon into the mouth.

*insert record slow­ing to stop sound here*

Using your upper lip is fun when it’s pumped full of mis­cel­la­neous numb­ing drugs.  That has to have been THE most chal­leng­ing Milo I’ve ever eaten!

Moral of this story?  You’ve got to be made of Milo.  But just avoid if for a few hours if you’re drugged.

Tags: dentist, food, Milo, WAP