The intricacies of Milo consumption
28 Jul 2004Before I get onto the Milo, there are some other things to address. I was going to post an IT department rant, but I’ll hold myself back for a few days until I have more to rant about. It’s coming.
Yay, I finally have an intranet page for myself which I’m happy with! I’ve got an RSS reader in a floating DIV on the left, and my links down the right, all of which feature handy dandy accesskey codes (I can press “Alt+I” and goto my system status page, or “Alt+G” and go to my Gallery, things like that). Woohoo. What’s changed from my previous intranet incarnations? This time around, I’ve added my RSS reader, stripped links to the bare essentials only, and added accesskey attributes to the links. So that’s ocol.
I went and saw the dentist yesterday. I resisted the temptation of running up yet another WAP bill, because last month was sort of expensive (and that was a month sans dentist visits!). Fired a few messages off all over the place, though ;) So yeah. I was there getting two preventative fillings, whatever that is. Something about a hole that isn’t really a hole and isn’t really there because of decay, but has the potential to become a problem because food could get lodged in there and stuff. Sounds like an excuse for them to get $300, to me. But hey! I got trippy numbing stuff injected into my gums, so that was all good.
Because the fillings were plastic and UV treated (well, I think it was UV… they had this insano torch which they seemed to be baking my teeth with, whilst shielding themselves from the evidently harmful radiation the ray gun was emitting… so it mightn’t be UV, but it was some kind of lightish stuff that glowed), I could eat as soon as I wanted. Yay! So I went home, and did the Milo thang.
Note to self: BAD IDEA!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!
…on with the story! Yeah. Milo with numbed gums and reduced-mobility lips is fun. The fact that I couldn’t say “provisioning” should have been a bad sign – alas, I didn’t let anything stand between me and the Milo!
Now, I’m one of those people who’ll fill a glass up halfway (so it’s half EMPTY, folks)… with Milo. And then the milk starts going in. And then it’s stirred slightly, and the Milo rises to the top, and it is CONSUMED!!! Muwhahahahaha. Yes, it’s a food-drink. Not a food, not a drink. (Aside: Well, occasionally a food, rarely a drink.) Eating half-dampened (by milk) Milo is an intricate procedure, involving extreme mobility of the upper lip.
Firstly, the person who is to devour the Milo (hereafter: “the Devourer”) must carefully load the eating device (“the Spoon”) with Milo from the cup, taking care not to lose any of the precious substance in the process.
Secondly, the Spoon must be raised to the mouth of the Devourer, placing it inside with great precision.
Next, the spoon must be removed from the mouth, scraping against the upper lip in order to dislodge Milo from the spoon into the mouth.
*insert record slowing to stop sound here*
Using your upper lip is fun when it’s pumped full of miscellaneous numbing drugs. That has to have been THE most challenging Milo I’ve ever eaten!
Moral of this story? You’ve got to be made of Milo. But just avoid if for a few hours if you’re drugged.