Prolific poison

14 Mar 2007

Is it a placebo effect if you don’t remember why the effects are occurring? I just glanced at my calendar for tomorrow after having briefly gone to bed then got up thinking I had unread/written emails, spent a while doing that, then realising it’s 1.15am and I’m not at all tired. Then, thinking back through the evening and recalling that sugary black liquid was involved at some point.

Clearly, the only option is to become addicted to the stuff. What’s bizarre is that it is available everywhere, people don’t think twice about consuming or offering it, and yet (for me at least) it has greater immediate consequences than smoking tobacco (bad smell aside). I will be a wreck by tomorrow evening.

I’ve already started the week inexplicably exhausted (I have been sleeping more sensibly/normally the last few days/week than I have been for the last month) without the involvement of caffeine, and fortunately have had time enough to respond to that exhaustion (I had 14 hours sleep last night) with little impact to my scheduled commitments, but I still drank most of a bottle of this stuff without thinking. And I’m not at all physically ill, with the exception of something that looked like a very slight cold late last week. I have no reason to be tired (and, conversely, no reason to be this awake with the exception of that stuff).

Anyway… I’m now going to try and go sleep a while. Dreaming of people who aren’t projects, and Christ as a judge, as well as a saviour who takes the punishment deserved by men, Macbeth and dark performance on a daylight stage, and inexplicably out-of-sync databases.