A 5 line quote script in PHP

26 Mar 2005

…mainly because Ben has taken too long to write his own (I don’t think he was trying, but meh… no more excuses!)

18 lines of comments, and 5 lines of code. If this is too hard to use, you shouldn’t be using PHP (or any programming language, for that matter!)

<?php #—–Simple Random Quote script——-#

Place this file somewhere servable,

and stick a file “quotes.txt” in the

same directory as it. Alternatively,

change the $quotesfile variable to

something desirable.

#

IMPORTANT: Quotes file must be

server readable. Obvious, but often

overlooked.

#

quotes.txt format is:

Quotation::Author

Use one entry per line only.

#

Output from the regex replacement is:#

<p>Quotation
Author</p>#

#————————————–#

$quotefile = “quotes.txt”; if ($quotes = file($quotefile)) { echo eregi_replace(“([^[])::([^[])”,”<p>1
2</p>”, $quotes[array_rand($quotes)]); } else{ echo ‘An error has occurred, no quotes are available at this time.’; } ?>

I hope WordPress doesn’t mess that up…

Good Friday

25 Mar 2005

From Mark 15, NIV translation

Jesus Before Pilate

¹Very early in the morning, the chief priests, with the elders, the teachers of the law and the whole Sanhedrin, reached a decision. They bound Jesus, led him away and handed him over to Pilate.

²â€œAre you the king of the Jews?” asked Pilate.

“Yes, it is as you say,” Jesus replied.

³The chief priests accused him of many things. ⁴So again Pilate asked him, “Aren’t you going to answer? See how many things they are accusing you of.”

⁵But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed.

⁶Now it was the custom at the Feast to release a prisoner whom the people requested. ⁷A man called Barabbas was in prison with the insurrectionists who had committed murder in the uprising. ⁸The crowd came up and asked Pilate to do for them what he usually did.

⁹“Do you want me to release to you the king of the Jews?” asked Pilate, ¹⁰knowing it was out of envy that the chief priests had handed Jesus over to him. ¹¹But the chief priests stirred up the crowd to have Pilate release Barabbas instead.

¹²â€œWhat shall I do, then, with the one you call the king of the Jews?” Pilate asked them.

¹³â€œCrucify him!” they shouted.

¹⁴“Why? What crime has he committed?” asked Pilate.

But they shouted all the louder, “Crucify him!”

¹⁵Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

The Soldiers Mock Jesus

¹⁶The soldiers led Jesus away into the palace (that is, the Praetorium) and called together the whole company of soldiers. ¹⁷They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him. ¹⁸And they began to call out to him, “Hail, king of the Jews!” ¹⁹Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him. ²⁰And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him.

The Crucifixion

²¹A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. ²²They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). ²³Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. ²⁴And they crucified him. Dividing up his clothes, they cast lots to see what each would get.

²⁵It was the third hour when they crucified him. ²⁶The written notice of the charge against him read: THE KING OF THE JEWS. ²⁷They crucified two robbers with him, one on his right and one on his left. ²⁹Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, ³⁰come down from the cross and save yourself!”

³¹In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! ³²Let this Christ, this King of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe.” Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

The Death of Jesus

³³At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. ³⁴And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

³⁵When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.”

³⁶One man ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said.

³⁷With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.

³⁸The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. ³⁹And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”

Cruise photos

25 Mar 2005

I’ve just got around to (finally) cropping and posting photos of the cruise back in December last year today. The first 10 or so are fairly drab and boring (due to the weather), but some of the rest are pretty good.

Go take a look at the album…

On a miserable day…

24 Mar 2005

Two days ago was the most windy (and wet) day Sydney had seen for a while. Personally, I enjoy that kind of weather (except this house sounds like it’s going to blow over, but oh well), especially if you don’t need to go outside on that particular day.

Our dog had the right idea of what to do — I snapped a photo to share with the world:

A note to the perceptive: Yes, the edges of that photo have been desaturated. Shouldn’t be too blatant, though…

Movie in a Minute

23 Mar 2005

Launched rather recently, an experiment with WordPress 1.5, multi-user weblogging, salvaging a design, and writing crap about films with my favorite person in the world, Tori.

Go check out Movie in a Minute now!